Poker Played

I am an above average poker player when there are more than eight people playing. Once it drops to below eight players, I lose all sense of perspective. I don't know how to scale my expectations of good starting hands, thus throwing away hands that I probably should play, and playing hands that still aren't strong enough for a player of my skill level to attempt. No doubt, if you're reading this, already you're plotting a poker game and wanting me to come and throw away my money.

And that's fine by me. For the most part, I enjoy poker more as an excuse to get together with friends, rather than just trying to dominate my fellow (wo)man with my ability to play poker. Do I still like winning? Sure. Would I rather just pay the twenty dollars straight up for the opportunity to be around people whose company I enjoy? Sure. Have I just described a very disturbing derivation of prostitution? Sure. I'm a whore.

Of course, at B.T.'s house on Saturday, when we were playing a no-limit Texas hold 'em tournament, I was doing all right, when I looked down at my watch, stared for a few seconds because I'm losing my ability to read analog watches, and realized I had to be fifty minutes away in half an hour.

Shit.

One of the great things about no-limit Texas hold 'em tournaments is that if you don't want to stick around, and don't care about your money, you can just start pushing all of your chips into the pot on every single hand. One way or the other, it will end quickly, and it will likely be not in your favor. Still, it's kind of thrilling pushing fourteen dollars and eighty cents in on an ace-seven off-suit versus a pair of jacks, and realizing you'll be leaving very very soon when everything but an ace or a seven falls on the board. Of course, I take a little (false) pride in outlasting E.B., J.L.J., and K.C.

I will also note that no quotes will be transcribed, as they are not fit for human consumption. I suppose the implication is a Devo-esque "Are we not men?"