Quiet Consideration

E.B. invoked the dreaded lawyer-client confidentiality on me Saturday afternoon. Granted, it wasn't exactly a lawyer-client scenario, but it was important enough that I felt compelled to obey my psuedo-obligation to E.B. and respect his wishes for me to shut the everloving f*** up.

Then again, he later sort of blabbed to G.B., but I guess it's OK, as I still didn't say anything.

I've come to realize that that's one of the most vital aspects to being a lawyer, even though I'm not a (practicing) lawyer. Given the nature of people's issues, and the need for as much pertinent information as possible, they need to be able to trust you. Yes, client-lawyer confidentiality is more an evidentiary/procedural construct, but the base reason remains. There has to be some level of trust in there, because they may, they will, tell you things they wouldn't tell to the closest members of their inner circle.

It is strange, and I know it's not helpful to you, Gentle Reader, that I'm speaking (typing) in vague tones here, but when E.B. "gave me the dirt," I felt sick to my stomach. Bad, bad juju.

That brings me to another point. I don't know if this happens to anyone else, but in my relationships with people, there always comes a point where, for whatever reason, I learn something about the other person that shocks/stuns/appalls me. What E.B. told me made me view K.F. in a completely different light. K.F. is now a completely different person to me.

Reminiscent of Iain Banks' novels, wherein a final twist throws the rest of the book into a completely different tone, these moments catch me completely off guard. Time and again, I have to make a choice. I know people aren't perfect. I know that in my head, know this as I know any other intimate truth. Yet, in my heart, I still don't know that. Still believe, like a little kid, that people are infallible, and good, and perfect. And that screws me over.

It's a simple choice, and as all simple choices are, so difficult to make. Do I keep on associating with that person, or not? There's no one right/wrong answer here, and heavily situation-dependent. I've learned relatively minor things that are just enough for me to decide not to have any more to do with that person. I've learned quite harsh things that don't counterbalance the importance of that relationship. In K.F.'s case, if I ever see him, I'll probably attempt to beat the ever-loving s*** out of him.