When I’m journalizing, I don’t even attempt to be scholarly, and just try to type as I would normally speak. That’s good, because at least it’s semi lucid. I feel bad about it though, as I should be trying to effectuate some sort of elevated diction for posterity’s sake. Goodness, should someone hailing from the far-flung future read this missive, what might they think of me? Some sort of pseudo-technological Neanderthal, clumsily slapping his hairy-knuckled digits across the physical keyboard, voiding worthless ideas from the bowels of his mind.
Yeah, let’s save the pretension for when necessary. I’m just a kid from the suburbs who happens to like reading so much I studied it in college. Yay.
[A lot of thoughts devoted to my legacy, it seems like. –K]
***R.Y.: You shall meet your maker soon. Oh, I mean, meet your match.
I haven't been threatened with death this much in a weekend in a long time.
***
I swear the Honda Accord was going to blow up. The loud, ratcheting humming heralded its arrival long before I saw it. Like a beehive on wheels, loud and uncontrollable and random. Turned my head back and to the right, and there it came up on me, raised a few inches to accommodate the gigantic wheels, almost touching the wheel wells. Cherry red, wholly obnoxious.
It pulled in front of me, slightly vibrating, and the taillight package resembled a deep-sea dive lighting system. About seven lights on either side of the license plate, squeezed onto the trunk itself. Cars all around it were edging over the lane markers, trying to edge away. I don't think that they were afraid of the occupants, several Hispanic men with the stereotypical hard-assed facial expression. I think they were afraid the damn thing would just up and explode and throw shards everywhere.
I never understood why, when people are modifying their cars, they insist on making them as loud as possible. If anything, wouldn't you want a car that operates quietly, perhaps as a sign that your modifications have improved its operation? Yes, attention is good, but broadcasting to people around you that you have enough money to take an old Accord and make it gaudy is not the best type of attention. Couldn't you just have bought a new car? You'd have looked just as badass rolling around in an Acura.
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