Did you know that the wasabi you normally acquire isn't usually real wasabi? J.L.J. and I found this out by accident, when the waitress said they had real wasabi, for only two dollars extra. What the hell, always up for a challenge.
Holy crap.
You know how sometimes, you're in a group of people, and the dares escalate more and more absurd? And how sometimes, it involves eating crazier food? Clearly, real wasabi must be a component of any of these competitions.
Was it J.L.J. or me that took the first bite, slathered in this lime green grated root? I remember watching a tear hang in the corner of his eye, as he groaned and tried to refrain from screaming. My experience, no less harrowing.
Each piece revealed a new world of ancient madness, but I would most like to describe the bite I took, slathering the scallop in the root and soy sauce, and letting it sit on my tongue. I remember the sensation that the food jumped straight into my nose, melting through my upper palate. I looked at the setting sun, calling me home, as the entirety of my head cracked into itself. There was a flare of sharp pain, like a broken bone, sustained for thirty seconds. The hope that this would end eluded me, and I started clenching my fists and shaking them at the heavens. J.L.J. said I changed several shades. I told him he'd done the same several minutes ago.
If you're looking for a challenge, rush down some real wasabi. And pray.
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