Adrafinil Adventures, part four

I woke up at 0630, about the same time I normally wake up. The disorientation remained, from having slept so little, but none of the normal exhaustion followed. So, so very strange. I felt about the same as if I'd gotten seven hours of uninterrupted sleep. Everything felt a little out-of-body that day. So surreal. I even popped one around 1100, just to be safe. Well, that and I wanted it.

Thinking back, I cannot remember that day. This is not unusual, for if I am not actively concentrating, I don't remember everyday details. And it was probably an uneventful day, save that modafinil was powering me.

I do remember starting to calculate how long I could go before I needed to order more, and already calculating what I would need to do to get that supply. Madness. This is how my obsession manifests: madness.

The crazy thing that I did notice, even though I was not tired, my body was reacting as though I hadn't slept, even though my mind didn't register it. If I don't get enough sleep, my knees and calves ache. I'd had that all day, but chalked it up to the running. No, I just didn't get enough sleep. Had my mind not been cheddar-sharp, I'm sure I would have been colliding into fixtures in the office and the apartment all day long.

That night, I feared not being able to sleep, but I blanked out in less than five minutes. The legends were true. If you didn't take it right before bedtime, you could dare to dream. And now, I dare to dream, but with hesitance and provisos. It was scary that the lack of sleep still affected my body, though not my mind. It is as if adrafinil is the first step in evolution, disconnecting the tethers that tie my mind and body so closely together. (and now I wonder if there is a drug that does so to heart and soul, besides love.)