No doubt, this semester’s (and perhaps even this year’s) theme is going to be hope. No, not the beautiful Hope I met while working at the lab. Hope, the hope that keeps you moving even after everything else tells you to stop. The hope that enables others to persist months, years in prison, because when they’ve lost everything else, hope pushes them along.
[And I don’t know if this comes through, but I am such a big believer in hope. Always have been, apparently, and always will be. Hope sustains me, hope drives me, and it may not seem like it, but I have always hoped for a brighter day. Given that I made it out of law school, things are getting better. –K]
… If I’d known law school would be like this, I would’ve joined the Army.
[Relevant because I’m considering joining the Army to get my law school loans paid off. –K]
***Filler is the greatest thing ever. Here's a smattering of memories from my days as a toddler.
-In day care, I broke down in tears because they were feeding me raisin bran. I hate raisin bran. It was all mushy and lukewarm.
-In day care, I was reading an article from the newspaper they would use to cover the table. One of the parents came in, saw me focused on the paper, and asked me what I was doing. I recall my response was something along the lines of "I don't know what all the words mean, but it has something to do with the army." Apparently this was shocking to said parent.
-In day care, I got stung by a bee. Leg swelled up like a baby cantaloupe. It hurt bad.
-In day care, I put a Matchbox car in my pocket before I left. I wasn't trying to steal it, I just forgot and thought it was mine. I felt so guilty I kept it in my pocket and refused to take my hand out of my pocket the entire night, until my parents checked it. Boy, I got a spanking for that. For some reason, I couldn't explain that it was an accident, and even stranger, they never made me return it to day care.
-In day care, I loved playing with the wooden blocks, but one block always frustrated me: the rectangular arch. Always kept on trying to put it on top of a pile, only to have it fall off.
-In day care, sometimes, they would have a tub filled with soapy water and boats. I also loved pushing the boats around in there until my hands turned all wrinkly and pruney.
-We took a group picture for day care, and I don't recall this, but I've seen the picture. I'm the little kid standing away from everyone else, a scared little frown on his face, almost trying to hide his way out of the frame. I also had the same haircut that I do now, except with uncombed hair, and the same face, except with less acne and fewer wrinkles.
-Right before A.C. moved away from next door, I remember we were on the see saw. I swore when we grew up, we were going to get married and play "Name That Tune" all day long. As I recall, I kept emphasizing that we would play the home version all the time. The marriage was almost an afterthought. (As for A.C., well, I had my chance. And even though I screwed it up afterwards, those ten days with A.C. were probably my finest moments as a human being. No matter what happens from here on out, I can say that for ten days, I Lived.)
-I would constantly make a fort out of the couch cushions. One Saturday, I woke up and ran straight to the couch, proclaiming to myself that it would be the greatest Saturday ever, then setting up my fort. Damned if I know what I did, but I do recall it was the greatest Saturday ever.
-I always drank milk out of a sippy cup right before I went to sleep, in the bed.
-One morning, my dad was holding me, shaving, and smoking. He burned me good on my chubby little right forearm. Nice welt, but no scar.
-My parents got an untrained German Shepherd. Every day that thing would jump up and put its forepaws on my shoulders. I think that is why I am still afraid of dogs today.
-My dad bought a pinball machine that I was barely tall enough to play. It went underneath the staircase. I think my mom made him get rid of it.
-On Sunday mornings, my dad would wrap me up in my security blanket, carry me around for a little while, then throw me on my mom while she was sleeping. I think it was one of those things that she hated for being woken up, but loved since it was me.
-My parents tried to enroll me in a parochial school for elementary school. I remember going into that blue, blue office with them, sitting on the sky blue carpet, and playing with some toy trains in the corner, away from the adults. (What I don't remember is that the bald man with glasses told my parents I was too stupid to be admitted. My mom was pissed. She saved a copy of my intelligence breakdown, and showed it to me many years later. I ranked about average on everything except attention span, which was pretty damn close to nonexistent. Good to see nothing's changed.)
-Wrote my life story in first or second grade. My goal was to complete my reading primer "Rainbow Day." Read it in front of the class (the life story, not the primer. I did read ahead, though, because some of those stories were interesting).
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