New Baby

I picked up Picross DS for the Nintendo DS. Have been looking forward to this puzzle game for a long time. This goes a significant way towards explaining why I "forgot" to post. Seeing as how I "remembered," I might as well describe little J.E., barely three weeks old.

When I visited C.E. and J.E.'s new house, J.E. gave me the opportunity to hold the baby, but only if I washed my hands first. (Let me say, mother and child's same initials wreak havoc with Writ.) Walking over to the kitchen sink, I soaped up, and as I rinsed off all the nasties, I looked in the dish rack. There were at least five baby bottles drying, along with their nipples. The baby consumes a lot, apparently.

When I walked back over, J.E. just held out the baby, and I just sort of took him, really only cognizant of being sure to keep his head supported so it didn't fall off, or something. And after holding him, I understand why. The child's head, topped with a fine dusting of light brown mini-hair, was roughly one-fourth to one-third the mass of his entire body. Really. Remove the arms and the legs, and he is the size of a NFL regulation-sized football.

Standing there like an idiot holding a ticking bomb, both of us were staring at each other, him because he sort of lacked the control to turn away, me because I sort of lacked the control to turn away. His tiny arms and legs still had that undefined look, the skin a few sizes too big, and slipped on, waiting for him to grow into. Just like that too-large clothing handed down from older brothers and sisters. The legs especially wrinkled in all the wrong places; they were still legs, but yet not quite functional, for today.

What struck me hardest was how big and how reflective his sharp grey eyes were. Staring up at me, I could almost see my reflection in them. As he sat there sucking in his pacifier, and every so often panicking and starting to breathe even heavier (panic? maybe just sleepiness?), the baby would just keep staring at me. Those portentous eyes (well, not portentous. A three week old child cannot possibly communicate anything beyond the basics: I am hungry. I am tired. I have soiled myself. Love me.) almost tried to promise to show me the future. Then, the baby spit out the pacifier and started on the verge of tears.

I only held the baby for five minutes before C.E. took him away and put him to bed. Still, holding that barely-there weight in my arms, it was surprising just how light a bundled mass of potential really is. Thinking about the possibility in that kid, it's very frightening.