False World

A gracious offer has been extended (and re-extended) to me to rejoin World of Warcraft. Yes, I'd likely start from scratch, though if possible, I'd name the avatar based on my naming convention: P-c. Hence, my main character, a human priest named Prismatic, and my main alternate, a night elf druid named Paramedic. Hell, I'd probably start a night elf druid named Polychromatic, or a hunter of some race named Paraplegic.

And no, this post is not an acceptance of said offer, but just a talking through of it.

The genius in World of Warcraft lies in two things: The quick, early returns, and the perseverance of the world and the game. When you start out, you get so many cool trinkets and skills so quickly, it keeps you coming back for more. Only problem, it gets harder and harder to get these trinkets and skills the longer you play, but you want that high. It really is like crack cocaine. The other thing is that since there's no end, you cannot beat the game. Those obsessive-compulsives needing to beat a game to stop playing will never stop playing this. There is always theoretically new content to digest.

Now, I respond to returns for my effort a little too much, and I absolutely must beat a game once I start. This would tend to bode unwell for the entirety of my life were I to delve back into it. One of the reasons why I quit in the first place was because it was becoming my life. Another was that it was an unhealthy escape, but I'd like to think I resolved the situation I was escaping from.

On the other hand, there is the allure of playing with people I knew, as I did before. Hell, I actually met someone in real life through World of Warcraft, and he turned out not to be a complete jackass (my greatest fear for meeting people through the internet. You clothe yourself in distance, anonymity, the perfect phrase, the perfect picture, perfection which is you, just through an imperfect prism reflecting all the best and filtering all the worst. I do it all the time). Presumably, I'd be playing with a goodly amount of people that I know, and there would be enough to avoid the anonymous jackasses.

Still, I have things to do in my life, goals to achieve, and a waxing/waning addiction to Halo 3 that is not helping matters. I sort of need to stop playing Halo 3 also, but that's another story for another day.

What makes it difficult is that I would still be escaping my life, because it's not perfect. Granted, it's a lot better than it could be; this fact I am cognizant of every time I drive to work and look inside the cars of others, look at the cars of others, when I stop at McDonald's for a greasy breakfast, when I pass a car wreck that caused me a minor discomfort, but probably changed several lives for the worse. These things I know. Yet, there is so much more that I want out of life, and am not entirely sure how to go about getting these things. A sense of fulfillment, a life partner, a published novel. Well, I know how to at least get the novel, but getting published is another matter entirely.

There is only so much time, and I waste so much of it in any given day. If I were to play World of Warcraft, well. It is fun, no doubt. Never question that. Sucks you in and never lets you go. Same time, it becomes a grind. It isn't that I want to snub people in saying I don't want to play. On the contrary, I wish I could play. I just don't know if I can handle all of the consequences of that choice.