Dramatis Personae

The danger of creating any list such as the following is leaving off someone. Understand if I do so, it is not because I don't like you. Rather, it is because I am a horrible person undeserving of your friendship. With a little further ado, I'm going to more or less group by how I have come to associate these people in my mind, and there is no way one word can encompass even a part of all of you. Still, for now, it's what I've got.

Me
protagonist/antagonist - K.T.
alter ego - J.C.

Family
mom- B.T.
dad - L.T.
half-sister - K.V.
half-sister - M.T.
half-brother-in-law - N.V.
niece - K.E.V.
aunt - R.F.
other aunt - K.C.
cousin/brother - R.Y.

[E5] - D
Light D - C.E.
Teacher - J.E.
Nascent - X.E.
Heavy D - S.P.
Runner - V.P.

[E5] - O
Heavy O - D.C.
Sniper - M.C.
Capper - A.W.

[E5] - Pho
Reverend - A.A.
Revered - J.H.

AOI
DIE - G.B.
Pika! - C.T.
Vegas - E.B.
Siberian Husky - J.L.
Rouge - V.P.
Touchy - K.C.

UMD/Law
Germophobe - C.S.
Straight-shooter - A.L.
Femme - M.R.
Esquire - J.L.

ATR
Mustache - M.N.
Wigger - D.S.
Biter - K.R.

NCI
Boss - J.T.
H.R. - R.J.
Coffee - C.C.
Mad Scientist - M.A.
Mentor - D.G.
Day Shift - E.N.
Anti-me - A.M.
Smooth - I.A.
Traveler - Z.M.
Eclectic - M.B.
Go Ravens - A.W.
Laugh/Smile - J.R.
Almost-Boss - B.S.

LM
Boss - I.S.
Boss' Boss - M.M.
Boss' Boss' Boss - M.P.
Actual Boss - A.S.
Technical Boss - K.H.
Networked Boss - W.J.
Not Quite Boss - T.S.
Vegetarian - M.H.
ATHF - J.G.
Early - R.B.
"No one wants to fuck with me. I am the best. I am the champ. I am an olympic champion. I will fuck anyone." - R.B.
Placid - E.C.
Metal - J.F.
Flag Football - A.W.
Quiet - C.C.
Mock - A.N.
Chill - J.T.
Cool Uncle - C.M.
Knee - V.W.
New Guy - J.E.

*sigh*
Way back when - D.C.
Not thinking - S.C.
Not paying attention - A.C.
Should've said something - J.D.

*argh*
"You're not funny, K.T." - M.M.
"Do you know how that makes me feel?" -M.W.
Physicist - J.S.
"No, you're wrong." - V.M.

The [E5] groups will at least know of each other. Most of the groups may know one or two from the *sigh* or *argh* groups, but I doubt anyone knows them all, or the story behind them. No, I know this is not what D.C. wanted. He wanted a full list with full names and short biographies and connections to me. Even pictures, if I could swing it, and perhaps contact information to verify details. This is not my life as entertainment. Well, that's a lie. This is my life as entertainment, but I will not become a plaything, if that makes sense. You are not watching The Truman Show, damn it.

***

Got stopped by two members of the Church of Jesus Christ, Latter Day Saints, otherwise known as Mormons. Since I'd just finished running under the warm sun, and fairly dehydrated, I wasn't thinking. Introduced myself as James (not my real name). Decided that I'd sit and attempt to listen, even though all I could hear was my own heartbeat. Besides, they were in short sleeved dress shirts and ties on Earth Day. How can you not give them time?

The elder on the right (and they introduced themselves only by their last names) asked if I knew anything about their church. I said no. He said "Awesome." The first of many times he would say that. At one point, I deliberately said something negative (though I do not remember what it was I said), and he replied, "Awesome." The elder on the left was attempting to describe his holy scripture, and paused for fifteen seconds, as he kept trying to find the word. "What is it. I know it, it's a word, what is it. Well, it doesn't matter." If you can't think of a single word to describe your holy scripture, somehow I doubt you're going to sell me on polygamy.