It's 0800 on a Sunday morning, and I really wish someone else were awake so I could talk to someone. Well, I don't know if that's entirely true. Mostly, I just want to be heard. Damned if I'm going to wake any of you up just because I've been up for a couple of hours and barely slept. At least if I type this down and post it in between the hilarity, someone's going to read it at some point.

I try to see the humor in everything because oftentimes, it feels like there's no reason to laugh. I've got to manufacture a way to make the world sillier, less starkly hostile. Sometimes, it works. Sometimes, it doesn't. Plus, if I don't laugh, I end up crying. Gone both ways, and laughing seems to work better.

This has been a weird year. Lot of laughing, some crying. Right now, I'm skidding into a trough. Soon enough, I'll be sledding right back out onto a peak. Right now, just shitty and confused. I know the world doesn't owe me a damned thing, but still I wonder, when will it be my time?

Maybe it'll feel better once i get an actual's night sleep, but right now, above anything else, I just want to feel like I have a voice, like I'm actually here, that someone can hear me. And I know I'm rambling and going in circles, but I just feel alone.

Nobody can be funny all the time. We'll try to bring it back to normal tomorrow.