Recapitulation: Amidst a muddy schoolyard chase, grave digger Barry slipped and rolled down a hill, destroying a funeral. After Sal suspends him for a month, he goes back to his apartment, only to find Jenna already there.
She threw an empty cereal box at him. “By the way, you’re out of corn flakes.”
Barry turned the box upside-down. “You ate an entire box of corn flakes? I just bought it yesterday.”
“No, I threw it away. You need better cereal, something that stains the milk after ten minutes. Something chocolate. Oh, you also need some chocolate milk.”
“You dumped that too? I just bought it.” He ran to the refrigerator.
“Drank it.” She belched, a deep, guttural cry. “Needed something to calm myself down after all that running. I’m going to take a nap now, you can have the couch. Try not to wake me up when you leave tomorrow.” Jenna yawned, then walked into his bedroom. “Night.”
Barry opened up the refrigerator. Half the food no longer occupied its shelving, the other half out of order. He reached for the oranges, came out with butter. The butter tray was stuffed with sliced ham. Even the temperature setting had rotated around to one. One! The coldest, most expensive setting. The, he looked around the kitchen. Dirty plates everywhere, open bags with corn flakes, his whole grain bread smashed and tossed around. At least the sink was clear, so he hoped. Barry turned on the sink, watched the water refuse to drain, watched something blue bubble up, diffuse into the now-standing water.
He marched into the bathroom. Jenna screamed, covered her naked self with her hands. “Don’t you knock before entering a bedroom?” Barry turned and retreated into the kitchen. The bedroom door slammed shut. He then realized it was still his apartment.
The bedroom door flew open. Barry stood in the doorframe, his eyes shut. He pointed a finger forward, somewhere into the bedroom. He figured she’d be in the bed. “Get out, this is my apartment. Put your clothes on, leave whatever else you stole from me, and get the hell out. I never want to see you again.”
The toilet flushed, a thick, wet rush. He heard the bathroom door open. “You pervert, didn’t you already see enough last time?”
“Get out get out get out!” Now he was hopping mad, jumping in the doorway, one hand up to keep himself from jumping into the wood, one finger now waggling in the general direction of the bathroom, his eyes still closed.
“Look, I’m real tired, can we talk about this in the morning?”
“Why are you still here?”
“Boy, maybe you need a nap. Just go to your couch, lie down, close your eyes. Then you can go to work tomorrow all refreshed.”
“No I can’t, I’m suspended for a month because of you!”
Jenna laughed. “Did I tell you to chase me?”
Barry started grinding his teeth. “I don’t even care about the money anymore, I just want you to take your clothes, and your ring, and anything else that’s yours, leave everything I own, and just go. You know what, you need bus fare?” He threw a five into the bedroom. “There, go take the bus, just go.”
“You’re funny, I’m going to like living here.”
Barry opened his eyes. Of course, she’d pocketed the money. She sat on the edge of the bed, wearing his best dress shirt, and apparently nothing else, the way she kept her legs crossed tight.
“Take the shirt, fine, just go.”
“You can’t kick me out, I’m your wife!”
“You’re not my roommate, you’re not my friend, you’re certainly not my wife. I just had one lapse in judgment, and I’m not going to keep compounding it. You got away without getting in trouble, now leave before I call the cops.”
Jenna laughed. “What are you going to tell them, that you helped me steal this ring? Grave robbery carries serious penalties. No, I’ve got a better idea. Ever heard of the saying, ‘In for a penny, in for a pound?’”
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