Little Naps

Free time and sleep are the two most valuable commodities I have. Free time and sleep also happen to be the two commodities on which I am constantly running short. As a child, I hated to sleep, and I hated too much free time, because it meant I was bored, and didn't know how to respond correctly. Now, when I have free time, I don't know how to react, generally because it has been way too long since I last enjoyed more than a few minutes of free time. Also, I have sleep time, but I keep waking up in the middle of the night. I know people sleep less as they get older, but I had hoped that I would be able to sleep in more than four hour bursts.

A few years back, A.A., J.H. and myself were discussing how much we would pay for a good night's sleep. J.H. went up to eighty dollars, and I remember thinking that was foolish. At the time, of course, I was getting more than enough sleep every night. I would now step it up to one hundred dollars, just to be able to sleep the sleep of the just. It doesn't seem like there's anything that's driving me particularly crazy, to the point that I would lose sleep. Then again, it is possible that everything is driving me particularly crazy, and the union of all that is causing me to wake up and worry.

Based on various research, sleep medication is not a long-term answer. It can get to the point where you become dependent on the medication just to fall asleep. This causes a whole new set of issues, making you worse off than you were. In the short term, however, it can get you to sleep, while you work out your issues. And for someone in my spot, it has generally been a matter of issues. It may even be as simple as figuring out what the issue is. I can't deal with it until I figure it out. Once that happens, I should be good. Maybe even able to sleep once again.