Recapitulation: Barry and Jenna are not getting along. Thrown together under most inauspicious circumstances, they are experiencing a low point in their ersatz marriage. Mr. Waller has taken it upon himself to reveal the universe’s secrets involving marriage, and the ultimate revelation, whatever it is, has stunned and shocked Barry.
“Rule three, you gotta have sex during her period. Women get cranky for a reason. You give it to her, she ain’t gonna be cranky. So, let’s practice.” Mr. Waller stood up and smoothed down his tuxedo before taking off the suit jacket. Barry swung out of his chair and raised it to eye level, lion tamer trying to fend off the lion.
“You can’t do this, I’m married.” Barry’s hands shook. He groped behind him for something to hold in his offhand. He found a used dish sponge, yellow and blue. Waved it as if it would ward away Mr. Waller. Because a sponge and a chair are so threatening when you are in someone else’s home and they have just propositioned you.
“You kids, thinking everything’s about the gays. No, we gotta practice you convincing me to have sex during that time of the month.” Mr. Waller stood up, fished around in one of his piles for a red poker chip, then stuck it in his waistband. “Eh? Eh?” He pointed at it with both hands. “Alright. Let’s start.”
“Oh, right.”
“Not tonight, I have a headache.”
“Alright, I’ll be in the living room watching TV.”
“No, no no, no, no.” Mr. Waller threw the chit down to the floor. “It’s like you don’t want this marriage to work.”
“Now you hear me. There’s no marriage.”
Mr. Waller took two great strides across the cramped room and shook Barry by the shoulders. “You will make this work. I will not have divorced people living in my building. This marriage will work.”
“You can’t kick me out for getting divorced.” The words stuttered out, as the room lost all definition and stillness for Barry.
“Because you won’t get a divorce. You and me, we’re going to make this marriage work.” He gave Barry one last shake to knock out the last vestiges of hope, then walked back to his position and put the red chip back in his waistband. “Let’s try it again.”
Barry, still stunned, managed to hold onto a corner as his brain flipped and shucked in his head. “Honey, let’s go make love.”
“Not tonight, it’s my time of the month.” The thick voice, coupled with Barry’s inability to focus his gaze, struck a quite rational fear into his fiber.
“Your time of the month should be all month long, its beautiful. You’re beautiful.”
“I feel bloated.”
You look it too. “You’re beautiful, and its all in your head. Let’s go to the bedroom and I’ll make you feel like a princess. Or a whore. Or both.”
Mr. Waller threw the chip at him. “You’re hopeless. Get out, and just remember what I told you. I’ll see you in two days.”
“What?”
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