Racks

It's only a matter of time.

You know you want it.

I know I do.

Mostly I just wanted to test this image uploading process.

***

I'm lazy and polygamy is not treating me well. So.

I wanted a bagel this morning, so I headed out to Panera Bread. Walked up to the counter, two workers standing behind the counter waiting to take my order.

In situations like this, I'm never quite sure who to give the order to, so I decided to stare at the bagels in the hopes one of them would walk away, making my life a little easier. As I stared, pretending to consider all the wonderful flavors, in my periphery, I noticed the two of them were acting strange, gesticulating and trading glances. Whatever, I just want to get a bagel and get out.

Finally, the blonde on my right, stage left, steps to the side. "Oh, I didn't realize you were staring at the bagels." Then, to the other worker, "I thought you were trying to say he was staring at my chest." A hand to the chest apparently means "Move aside and let the man see the bagel rack," not "Pull your apron down and let the man stare at your rack."

Not even nine o'clock and I'm a pervert. New record.

I also wanted to eat there, which got the response, "Oh, so you're eating here now." She gave me one of those come hither smiles, to which I had to look down at into. Then, when I realized me looking down made me stare at her chest, I stared vertically downward into the countertop. Damnit women, you're both very nice people, you're cute, but this does not entitle you to mock me at eight freaking thirty in the morning before I've had breakfast.