A.G. “Hi, This is Charlie from WKYS. If you can complete the sentence with the word I’m thinking of, we’ll give you two tickets to a concert of your choice. Are you ready?”
Random woman: “Okay.”
A.G. “My *blank* is big and hairy.”
Random woman: “Okay, your penis is big and hairy?”
A.G. “I’m sorry, I was thinking of ‘dog.’ My dog is big and hairy.”
Nextel two way plus random numbers equals mass hilarity.
***Is it all in your mind? Unofficial studies point to yes. At work the other day, I was expecting to leave at five o’clock. Really, I should have seen the signs, since the work backlog had finally cleared up, and we were ready to start production and shipping again. Four forty P.M., twenty minutes till we left, I thought it was going to be a piece of cake, until we had to prep for shipping. Another two hours, the longest two hours of my adult life. Longer than any class. As we continued completing crating, the only pseudo-thought drifting through my mind was some primal “urgh,” some need to not be there. It was more excruciating than class.
Was it really that bad? No, we’ve crated before, and its never lasted that long. The problem was in expecting to leave, then being denied that. If you want to torture someone, promise them food in an hour, then slowly drag out how much longer each day you give them the food, and always make sure its never within an hour. This would drive me crazy. Also, not giving the food you promise, even if its still good food, would be horrendous. For example, Salisbury steak instead of porterhouse steak, or buttered mashed potatoes as opposed to mashed potatoes and gravy. Besides showing I am hungry right now, this also shows the power of expectation in your mind, the power of hope in your heart.
Damned if it isn’t the case that hope, harnessed or unbridled, under the right circumstances, can make you unstoppable. Who hasn’t hoped? Who hasn’t dreamt for something so deep that they do everything in their power to make it happen? Who hasn’t grasped onto a glimmer of hope, and kept on going, even in the face of undeniable futility, just for that hope? Hope, the pure oxygen which ignites human souls. Hope, when someone is dying, that they hold on for another day, or maybe even get better. Hope, which keeps us working when we should have left an hour ago. Hope, which keeps us going even when the inevitable approaches, and we dare not face it head on. Hope, hope, hope.
***
Despite requests, I will not update daily, because not enough happens in my life to give me material, and I'm not imaginative enough to come up with something new every day. Its a miracle I'm shooting for (and hitting) a twice-a-week schedule.
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