If you have to keep saying "I'm really not an asshole" over and over again, are you trying to convince us, or yourself? I got to play poker with seven really nice people, and one complete dick. From the start, he was trying to lord both his extensive knowledge of the rules and his superior skill over us. Only problems were that some of his statements weren't necessarily true, and yours truly knocked his ass out of the game in sixth place.
One of my favorite moments was when I'd folded a hand to him, and he showed me what he had. Then, he told me I had him beat preflop, but he had me beat after the flop. The dick asked me what I had, in order to confirm his suspicion. I didn't ask to see his cards, so I certainly wasn't going to tell him what I had.
K.T.: Five kings.
The Dick (T.D.): What?
K.T.: I had five kings.
T.D.: There are only four in the deck.
K.T.: Yeah, I had five.
T.D.: You can't have five cards.
K.T.: Five on the table, I had five kings.
I'd forgotten that when I have my serious face on, people take me absolutely seriously. He then told me he felt sorry for me, and wasn't going to show me any more of his cards. Thanks, jackass.
Sweetest moment of the night, I had a king and a jack, and two jacks fell on the flop. I went all in, he called. He flipped a jack and a three. A king fell to give me a full house, but more importantly, that king shut him up. Five minutes later, when he left the table, I traded fist pounds and hand slaps with everyone. From that point on, the game got fun, because nobody was a dick. Kids, let that be a lesson.
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