Run, Walk, Balls?

Escape plans stud the walls of the law school and the legal library. Note that the most efficient plan would be to never enter, but in lieu of this, they provide us a multitude of maps with which to find our way out. Within the library’s third floor, there is such a sign, my favorite one. It states: “In Case of Fire:” above the plan itself. Then, “Run like hell to the nearest exit... and don’t forget your laptop.” Anonymous wag, I love you. Hope you’re pretty.

***

A Starbucks opened up one block away from the law school. I walk there some mornings and get a beverage, either plain green tea or giant caramel frappucino. Yeah, life is a study of differences. Anyway, there’s a barber’s shop almost equidistant between the school and the Starbucks. Despite it being the year two thousand and six, the millenial year, two thousand, figures prominently into the name of the hair-cutting establishment. Now that’s planning ahead.

Within the window is a small eight and a half by eleven paper display, an advertisement for a company called DNA. Now, this is not an abbreviation for DeoxyriboNucleic Acid, as one would be tempted to expect. No, this company adopted the moniker Daddy Needs Answers. Yes, for one hundred and fifty dollars, and two to seven days, you too can get answers to the questions you have.

***

Kept a running diary for the Denver-Pittsburgh ball game on Sunday. There is a reason why I keep no running diaries, football or otherwise. My problem in analyzing football is that I still approach from a fantasy perspective, i.e. follow the ball. This of course is an offshoot of my legal education, wherein several teachers played hide the ball. Therefore, literally and figuratively, when there is a ball to be followed, I follow it with all my heart.

Yes, I know that if you replace the word “ball” with “balls” and pretend I am talking about testicles, the previous paragraph becomes twice as funny. We’ll reproduce the foregoing with the change, slightly edited: Kept a running diary for balls. Denver-Pittsburgh game on Sunday. There is a reason why I keep no running diaries, balls or otherwise. My problem in analyzing balls is that I still approach from my fantasy perspective, i.e. follow the balls. This of course is an offshoot of my legal education, wherein several teachers played hide their balls. Therefore, literally and figuratively, when there are balls to be followed, I follow them with all my heart.

Balls.